A young girl, not terribly experienced with men, ended up marrying an older man. Her mother agreed to stay in the house on the wedding night to give her any advice she may need, since she was a bit nervous as a virgin.
The happy couple retired to their bedroom, and he took off his shirt.
The bride ran out of the room and off to her mother.
"Mother! Mother! he has hair all over his chest," she said.
"It's all right, it's quite natural," says the mother, so the girl goes back. The bridegroom takes his trousers off, and she rushes out again.
"Mother! Mother! he has hair on his legs too." The mother reassures her again, so back she goes.
The husband takes off his socks, revealing that one of his feet is false. The bride rushes off yet again.
"Mother! Mother, he's got one foot," she says.
"A FOOT?" gasps the mother. "You stay here, this is a job for your mother."