ACCOUNTANT
Required a girl endowed with mind boggling assets +
a good head for figures. remember BOTH conditions need be
fulfilled. Tendency towards making unnecessary expenditure
will prove to be a liability in the selection process.
Her very nature should be one of generating as more income
in my life as possible. She will be profited from the alliance
with a nice personality [ME] and this relation will be to
the credit of her family.
ASTRONAUT
I'm searching for a wife to fill the black hole my life
has become. Someone to share my universe. Must have looks
that are out of this world.
ARMY COMMANDO
My mission in life is to find myself the perfect wife.
Successful applicants must be able to use a penknife and a
compass. She who dares wins. Camouflage provided.
BUSINESS MAN
Wife wanted for company.
BANKER
Wanted wife who takes interest in me and credits me
with her service for which no service charges would
be payable.
BUILDER
Wanted a wife to help build upon the foundations of my life.
Must be homely and willing to build relationship from
the ground up. Pillars of solid saftey and beams of
understanding will be provided.
CAR DEALER
Wanted a sturdy, reliable, low depreciating wife.
Should be in excellent working condition.
Should not have a third party insurance.
DOCTOR
I am looking for a wife to cure the emptiness i am experiencing.
She must be capable of injecting happiness in my life.
She should not wrangle me in the vicious circle of multiple
tests. However if she feels the need for a second opinion then
it's fine by me.
ECONOMIST
There is demand of a wife. Though supply is no problem, my
requirements are high. However the Elasticity of my demands
should not bear too heavy a burden upon the national interest.
FARMER
Wanted a wife from good stock. Required for breading.
FISHERMAN
Wife wanted, must be able to dig, clean, cook worms and clean
fish. Must have own boat with motor. Please send photograph
of the motorboat.
POLITICIAN
I feel there is a need in this world, to improve the ways we
live, to harmonize the processes of life and to build upon
past differences and short comings. I believe that we the
people need someone to share our lives. To feel the joys of
parent hood, and bear the social responsibilities, as
we should in a civilized society..... ......... ...
(etc etc and never getting to the point)
MATHEMATICIAN
Wife required to complete the formula of my life.
Must be numerate and understand complex algebraic logarithms.
Needed to help further my family unit.
IT CONSULTANT
Well there is definite room for improvement in my life.
The speed of my current flows of information and processes
is slowing down and the inclusion of a wife into the
programming of my life is bound to improve efficiency.
Compatibility could be an issue.
LAWYER
I hereby propose to solicit myself as an eligible candidate
for the post of wife after marriage. The person whom
I'm looking for should be strictly - a girl with evidence
to support this view that she is a girl. The girl should be
willing to surrender to the service and jurisdiction of My Lord
i.e. Myself. Any objections would be overruled.
Apply in strictest confidence as all liabilities are
null and void in the event
of failure on your part of any kind whatsoever.
PILOT
Wife required to fly through life together. Only level
headed applicants need apply. She must not have her heads
in the clouds, but have her feet firmly on the ground.
Her heart must be in it for the long haul. And she absolutely
must also be aerodynamically sound!!!
RACE CAR DRIVER
A model wife required to fit in with my fast track life.
Must be able to keep pace.
SALESMAN
Once in a lifetime offer, to get yourself the original,
genuine article. One of the most handsome and smartest
bachelors around is now looking for a wife.
And you could be the lucky one he chooses!
Has own house, car and successful career!
