Rules for making Indian Movies, India Movie Funny

Comedy

1. If the number of heroes is not equal to the number

of heroines, the excess heroes/heroines will
- die
- join the Red Cross and take off to Switzerland

before the end of the movie.

2. If there are 2 heroes in a movie
- they will fight each other savegely for at least 5

minutes (10 if they are brothers).

3. Any court scene will have the dialogue
- "Objection milord". If it is said by the hero, or

his lawyer, it will be sustained.
Else, it will be overruled.

4. The hero's sister
- will usually marry the hero's best friend (i.e. the

second hero).
- Else, she will be raped by the villain within the

1st 30 minutes, and commit suicide.

5. In a chase,
- the hero will always overtake the villain, even on

a bullock-cart, or on foot.

6. When the hero fires at the villain(s), he will

never
- miss
- run out of bullets.

7. When the villain fires at the hero, he will
- always miss (unless the hero is required to die, as

in rule).

8. Any fight sequence shall take place in the

vicinity of a stack of
- pots
- barrels
- glass bottles, which will be smashed to pieces.

9. Any movie involving lost+found brothers will have

a song sung by
- the brothers
- their blind mother (but of course, she has to be

blind in order to regain her sight in theclimax)
- the family dog/cat.

The amazing thing is that these folks remember the

song after 20 years in the movie,and you can't

remember it 2 minutes after coming out of the

theatre.

10. Police inspectors (when not played by the hero)

come in three categories:
- Scrupulously honest, probably the hero's father ,

killed by the villain before the titles.
- Honest, but always chasing the anti-hero (asin

rule), saying
"Tum kanoon se bach nahin sakte", only to pat him in

the back in reel 23.Usually, this inspector's

daughter is in love with the
anti-hero.
- The corrupt inspector, (usually the real villain's

sidekick) unceremoniously knocked about by the hero

(s) in the climax.