What do you call a cow eating grass in a paddock? 
A lawn mooer
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What gets bigger and bigger the more you take away from it? 
A hole.
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Why did the traffic light turn red? 
You would too if you had to change in the middle of the street.
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What did one lift say to the other lift? 
I think I’m coming down with something.
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What did the little mountain say to the big mountain? 
Hi Cliff!
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Why should you take a pencil to bed? 
To draw the curtains.